It was around this time that Jeffrey first typed the words ''gay'' and ''teen'' into a search engine on the computer he'd gotten several months before and was staggered to find himself aswirl in a teeming online gay world, replete with resource centers, articles, advice columns, personals, chat rooms, message boards, porn sites and - most crucially - thousands of closeted and anxious kids like himself. But being 15, he was too young to drive and afraid to enlist his parents' help in what would surely seem a bizarre and suspicious errand. He called a crisis line for gay teenagers, where a counselor suggested he attend a gay support group in a city an hour and a half away. ''My mother's always saying, 'It'll be so wonderful when you meet that beautiful Christian girl and have lots of grandchildren,' and every time she said that, I was like, That's it: my life is going to be hell.'' ''I'm a Christian - I'm like, how could God possibly do this to me?'' he said. But as the truth gradually settled over him, he told me last summer during a phone conversation punctuated by nervous visits to his bedroom door to make sure no family member was listening in, he became suicidal. (He asked that I withhold not only his last name but also any other aspects of his life that might reveal his identity.) He prayed that his errant feelings were a phase.
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Jeffrey knew of no homosexuals in his high school or in his small town in the heart of the South. But Jeffrey is a devout Southern Baptist, attending church several times each week, where, he says, the pastor seems to make a point of condemning homosexuality. This discovery had been coming on for some time he had noticed that he felt no attraction to girls and that he became aroused when showering with other boys after physical education class. You’re right to address this now before the periods between sex get longer and you find you’re not having it at all.In the summer of 1999, when he was 15, a youth I will refer to by only his first name, Jeffrey, finally admitted to himself that he was gay.
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So, if you’re being banished to the spare room, that’s going to cut down the opportunities significantly. When you have young children and life is busy and sometimes stressful, having a good sex life is a lot about having the opportunity to actually have sex. If you consistently do this, eventually it’ll work. It’s pretty normal for young children to wake up at night and want to get into your bed, but you have to keep putting them back! If it’s causing stress taking her back to her own bed straightaway because she cries, wait until she falls asleep, then carry her back, so she wakes up in her own room in the morning. I know letting your daughter fall asleep again in your bed seems like the easiest option at the time when you’re tired, but you really are making a rod for your own back with this one.
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However, I’m exhausted from sleeping on a bad mattress and, more importantly, our sex life is virtually non-existent. My wife doesn’t see anything wrong in it and says that our daughter just needs comfort at the moment.
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My problem is, my wife lets our daughter sleep in our bed at night, which means I usually get out and go to the spare room.Īt first it was just the occasional night when our daughter woke up and came in, but now it’s become pretty much every night. My wife and I are in our 30s and have one daughter, who’s recently turned two.